Here’s another one - THIS TIME! WITH MORE FORMATTING ERRORS, MORE RUN-ON SENTENCES, MORE MEANINGLESS DETAILS … AND MORE! TRY TO NOT LOSE YOURSELF IN THIS MIRACULOUSLY BORING TALE!!!
“a tale so boring, it’s hard to believe someone took the time to make it up!!” - cool tales magazine
DEBORAH
Deborah was a nice person with an even nicer singing voice. Every single person in town came to see her sing karaoke, every single Wednesday, for as long as they all could remember. Every single person in this town, which the mayor was considering naming “Deborahville”, thought of themselves as Deborah’s best friend. People in her vast and varied friend group missed work functions, birthdays and even the rare Wednesday wedding JUST to continue this long standing tradition with their beloved friend Deborah.
Deborah was out and about one weekend. On the weekends she went out and about, and she usually did so alone. This particular weekend Deborah kept seeing signs; Signs that said "try something new" or "reach for the stars" or "normal routine got you down?". These signs seem directed DIRECTLY at her - though she had no idea what could possibly shake things up in her incredibly structured yet wonderful life. Strangely enough, the next sign she saw was a poster that read:
HUGE KARAOKE CONTEST - WINNER WILL RECEIVE RECORD DEAL - SURPRISE SPECIAL GUEST
Deborah had recently bought a phone with no actual buttons and was trying out Facebook, a popular social media application. Since her friend group was so huge, she decided to make a Facebook event to let everyone know the Wednesday location had changed. It would now be held at “Lenny’s” not the usual bar “Pipes”. It was only down the road, plus, no inconvenience was too great for the “Deb heads” - a term coined by her many best friends/biggest fans. Deborah was really excited about the using Facebook application, and that excitement rivaled closely her excitement toward “the big night”. Naturally, Deborah cleared her schedule & spent the remainder of the days leading up to the event in complete solitude practicing her doe, ray, meez!
Wednesday rolled around and everyone in the “Deborahville” Facebook group showed up at Pipes, excited to see what tunes Deborah had up her sequined sleeves that night. (Deborah always wore sequins on Wednesday.) The “Deb heads” waited and waited and looked at the crowded room but saw NO sign of Deborah. Everyone began to panic.
"I'll check her facebook!" one of her great friends said.
"Deborah has a facebook?" another one of her great friends said.
"Yeah, I made her one but she hasn’t added all of her friends in town yet." the first great friend said back.
"That's so funny because she has soooo many" some other person said from a distance.
"Hey! I pulled up her page! I think she meant to make an event but instead she just made comment on her own picture telling us all to come to Lenny's down the road @ 8!!" The first great friend said.
Luckily for everyone involved it was only 7:24 and Lenny's was only 4 blocks away. Everyone, including the owner and staff members of “Pipes” left and walked outside. It was a lovely summer evening - 76 degrees and the sun was just low enough in the sky to not be in anyones eyes. The entire group of wonderful people who supported Deborah unconditionally showed up to Lenny's at 7:38. Just enough time to get everyone a drink.
"What a close call!" Deborah said, after they all told her the story in unison.
Deborah won the karaoke contest & got the record deal. The special guest was Jon Bon Jovi's guitar tech from the 1993 "I'll sleep when I'm dead" tour. Deborah and him plan to "grab a drink next time he's in town."
the end